


Loss and Regret

by DrOmega101



Category: Stargate Universe
Genre: Angst, Depressing, I don't give Young a break, M/M, Suicide, Tissue Warning, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-21
Updated: 2015-08-21
Packaged: 2018-04-16 09:41:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4620585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrOmega101/pseuds/DrOmega101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They really shouldn't have fallen in love, but the deed was done. Five moments in the relationship Young finds himself in. Told through Young's POV</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loss and Regret

**Author's Note:**

> I did a thing....and it's depressing....
> 
> please heed the warnings.

“This is a very, very bad idea...”

He didn’t. He really, really didn’t. It was a very bad idea that would blow up in their faces. So many things could go wrong with this. So many things that could be used against them if this relationship leaked to the wrong person. It wasn’t fear to either of them, but at this very moment, neither cared.  
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“What would you do if I died?”

It’s a question that pops up one night as they lay in bed together. The question takes him by surprise, and he doesn’t know what to say. He ponders on the question, thinking of what he should say. He never really thought about it. He would mourn the loss of such a great lover and friend, that's for sure. Would he break? Or would he keep it together and carry on as leader of this wayward expedition? He looks over to his lover, who is staring back at him. He doesn’t say anything, only leans in for a kiss.  
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“Why were you coming out of her room at three O’clock in the morning?”

He asks the question when they are getting ready for bed one night. It’s comes out as an accusation, even though he didn’t mean for it to come out that way. The only reply he gets is a shell shocked stare. He looks his lover in the eyes, and the answer is there. He sees shame and regret in those eyes. It breaks his heart, but he doesn’t say a word. He continues to get ready for bed. Later he wakes with arms around his waist holding him close. Soft lips on his neck, his lover whispering “so sorry, please forgive me” over and over. He doesn't say a word, he only buries himself deeper into the comfort of his lover's arms.  
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“Please, forgive me…”

There was nothing to forgive. He knows that his lover can’t help the current situation he's in. Tears stream down his face and onto the cold floor. He doesn’t want to cry. He doesn’t want to be here. He wants to be in his quarters, his lover's arms wrapped tightly around him. He hates this so, so very much. He feels a hand wiping away his tears, and he looks down at his lover. His lover whispers, “please forgive me” and all he can do is burst into tears.   
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“All I see is your eyes staring back at me”

He can’t sleep. He doesn’t eat. He knows the crew is worried about him. He’s lost the will to live. He remembers the question he was asked so long ago now. What would he do if his lover would die? He told himself that he would keep it together. That he would go on and lead these people like he should. That didn’t happen though. Now he sets in his dimly lit room, drink in one hand, gun in the other. He’s contemplating ending it all. Not having to deal with the pain of loss and regrets and what ifs. He puts the gun up to his temple. He's ready to do it. His hand is shaking, and he closes his eyes. 

The last thing he sees is his lover’s cold dead eyes staring back at him from the floor of the crashed shuttle.


End file.
